I think scott just propositioned me for sex
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
