What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My vagina is officially offended.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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