that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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