Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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