Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
