I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
