idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I am one with the molecules
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
