i don't like sucking hair
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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