I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
