We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think I died a long time ago.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think my moral compass just broke
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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