Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
