It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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