You're so nebulous sometimes
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Bring me that man meat
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
