I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
