He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
