that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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