you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
