my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
