now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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