he wants to bone in the snuggie
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I have feelings that need drinking.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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