so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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