Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
