Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
