At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
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It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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