Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
