if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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