dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year