I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.