I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS