I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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