when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
