i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
