Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
