i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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