Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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