New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So... How much of our rent is drug money?