Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.

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  (248): i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid. http://tfl.nu/3rci
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (475)
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  (916): View more from California

  she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth

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  (916): she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth http://tfl.nu/a27z
  Replies (5) Good night (634) Bad night (1886)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."

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  (208): I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing." http://tfl.nu/1ant
  Replies (26) Good night (6326) Bad night (687)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.

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  (703): we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker. http://tfl.nu/rqvi
  Replies (8) Good night (5043) Bad night (509)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.

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  (202): the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine. http://tfl.nu/yvwg
  Replies (15) Good night (1129) Bad night (5345)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!

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  (610): I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin! http://tfl.nu/gtgt
  Replies (14) Good night (9212) Bad night (1594)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.

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  (781): Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person. http://tfl.nu/31bd
  Replies (3) Good night (2590) Bad night (1292)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.

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  (812): An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw. http://tfl.nu/0rhv
  Replies (2) Good night (976) Bad night (410)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now

  (315): View more from New York

  I see you're taking unemployment seriously.

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  (607): I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now (315): I see you're taking unemployment seriously. http://tfl.nu/5xru
  Replies (3) Good night (2122) Bad night (501)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.

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  (814): I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood. http://tfl.nu/fkn8
  Replies (10) Good night (1073) Bad night (390)
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  (909): View more from California

  Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.

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  (909): Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS. http://tfl.nu/zdw2
  Replies (7) Good night (409) Bad night (1883)
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  (619): View more from California

  If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.

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  (619): If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home. http://tfl.nu/v77a
  Replies (3) Good night (382) Bad night (890)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!

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  (617): I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka! http://tfl.nu/buxw
  Replies (1) Good night (491) Bad night (577)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?

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  (203): Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish? http://tfl.nu/j5ph
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (295)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?

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  (401): Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer? http://tfl.nu/q3x6
  Replies (4) Good night (604) Bad night (252)

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