It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.