Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls

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(309): View more from Illinois

I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days

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(404): View more from Georgia

He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(713): View more from Texas

the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us

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(512): View more from Texas

ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..

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(416): View more from Toronto

I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma

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(703): View more from Virginia

Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.

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