You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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