And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I can't put those talents on a resume
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
