You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
