Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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