It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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