I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
