Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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