I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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