i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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