It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
