How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
