Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
