who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
