you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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