I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
