your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
