I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
