she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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