Walk of Shame. In a state park.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
