cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
being pregnant is like rehab
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize