I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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