its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
