did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
