i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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