There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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