i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
