I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
